I always knew they would pass before his eyes all his life in the instant before he died. First of all, that moment is not an instant. Stretches. For always, like an ocean of time. For me ... ... I was lying in the starmene Scout Camp to watch the shooting stars. The yellow leaves of maple trees that lined our street. The hands of my grandmother and her skin seemed like paper. And the first time that I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. ... And Jane and Jane. And Carolyn.
I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me but, it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes it's like seeing it all together and it is too. My heart fills up like a balloon about to burst and then I remember to relax and stop trying to keep her close and then flows through me like rain and I can not feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.
You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But do not worry ... one day you will.
Taken from the film "American Beauty."
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